Say my name

I was going through some student records to track “longitudinal progress” across the calculus sequence at Komplexify U when I cam across the following entry in an industrial engineering (the branch of engineering concerned with optimizing complex processes) student’s record:

Wait… what are you guys trying to optimize?

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On what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my monstrosity been unleashed?

I just found out that actress Daveigh Chase stars as both the Hawaiian troublemaker Lilo in Lilo and Stitch and the haunted TV terror Samara in The Ring.  All I know now is that the latter makes watching the former a lot creepier.

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The Bug Whisperer

Some conversions with my (not so) little bugs:

Scene: The 5-year-old Butterfly is putting on her new snow jacket, readying herself to go to the bus stop for school.

Butterfly: Dad? Guess what?

Me: What?

Butterfly: My friend Tilly has this exact same snow jacket.

Me: How do tell them apart then?

Butterfly:  Well, hers is blue.  Also, it doesn’t have the sweater thing on the inside.  Also, it doesn’t have these extra pockets.  Also, it’s old.

Me: So in what way is Tilly’s snow jacket “the exact same” as yours?

Butterfly: It has a pink zipper.

Scene: I am sitting on the living room couch, while the 8-year-old Ladybug is resting across the couch using me as a foot rest.

Ladybug: Daddy, do you remember that piggie thing with the feet?

Me: “This little piggie does to market?”

Ladybug: Yeah.

Me: What about it?

Ladybug: [ sighs ] You haven’t played that with me in a long time.

Me: You haven’t been 1 in a long time.

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Tuesday Whosday: Opening credits edition

The opening of Doctor Who has been pretty much set in stone: an ever-improving visual of the Time Vortex and a glance of the Doctor, or the TARDIS, or both, all set to the iconic OOO-WEE-OOO WEE-OOO-OOO theme.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s fifty years of Doctor Who openings:

You just don’t mess with a classic.

…Except, of course, when you do.

Like most web-savvy Whovians, one from Leeds called Billy Hanshaw decided to make his own opening sequence, opening within the cogs of a Time Lord’s pocket watch before firing the TARDIS not through the Time Vortex by rather an infinitely spiraling clock (a bit like Clock #9 from my clock post) and ending with the Seal of Rassilon:

It turns out that  Doctor Who showrunner Stephen Moffat saw Hanshaw’s title sequence and pretty much thought it was the bee’s knee’s and the Dalek’s … knaleks, I guess?  And so with Hanshaw’s permission (and some minor tweaks) it became the Series 8 opener. Here’s a side-by-side for comparison:

So, apparently, a fan can occasionally buck with a half century of tradition it becomes and official part of Who canon. With that in mind, I present you Stephen Byrne’s opening for the Animated Adventures of Doctor Who:

Get on it, Moffat. I would watch the hell out of that show.

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So Superbowl XLIX (which I cannot help by pronounce as ex-licks) is over, much to my relief, partly because I dislike football in general*, but mostly because I don’t think I can make any utterly immature jokes about Tom Brady’s or Bill Belickick’s deflated balls that haven’t already been made.

Like this one, for example.

I wasn’t even particularly impressed with this year’s commercials either, Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel’s self-depricating BMW spot and Danny Trejo as a homicidal Jan Brady notwithstanding.  (We don’t have Carl’s Jr in South Dakota, so we didn’t get the to see Charlotte McKinney doing Austin-Powersy food porn.)  I did, however, enjoy the halftime show, which was apparently based on some form of Hunger Games/Yo Gabba Gabba fan fiction.

Katy Perry is either The Girl on Fire or Will Farrell from “Blades of Glory”.

“I kissed a blue-furred cat-dragon and I liked it…”

I could make an “inflated fun bag” joke here, but I’m a better person than that.

* As George Will noted, “Football combines the two worst things in American life: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.”

Completely unrelated to the Superbowl by any metric other than “chronological proximity,” Texas Governor Gregg Abbot declared that this year, Groundhog Day would be declared Chris Kyle (a.k.a. the American Sniper) Day.  I’m not exactly sure how it works, but I think if Bradly Cooper sees his own shadow, then in means 6 more years of war in a desert.

“Okay snipers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your botties ‘cuz it’s coooold out there!”

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