Talking to my children.
Me: Don’t forget that mom will be out of town next week, so now is our chance to eat dinners that would be otherwise vetoed by her. Any choices?
Ladybug: Hot dogs and beans!
Me: Beanie weenies?
Me: We could get those Little Smokey hot dogs and make teenie weenie beanie weenies.
Me: We could also mix it with Mellow Yellow and blue PowerAde to make greenie teeny weenie beanie weenies.
Ladybug: Yeah, that’s enough.
According to The Associated Press, the golden face mask of King Tutankhamun has been irrevocably damaged when curators of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo managed to knock off the mask’s beard.
Even worse, rather than take it back to a conservation lab for repairs, they decided to glue it back themselves on with a quick-drying epoxy. Unfortunately, they failed to set the beard back into its original place before it dried, so according to one of the museum’s conservator, “Now you can see a layer of transparent yellow” between the beard and the chin.
Even more worse, they applied the epoxy so hastily they got it all over Tut’s face too, spattering the golden mask with more transparent yellow goop. Again, rather than take it back to a conservation lab for repairs, they decided to remove the extra epoxy… with a spatula, effectively scratching up the golden face.
So what did we learn from this? Well, I guess we know where Chunk got a job after he left the Goon Docks.
So yesterday was the State of the Union address. You can read a full and annotated transcript at Politifact, but a short version of it is as follows:
Of course, the highlight of the speech was the President’s wicked ad-lib:
There was also the GOP’s official (and largely content-free) rebuttal by freshman Iowa senator and former pig castrator Joni Ernst:
There was also a word-for-word Spanish translation of the GOP rebuttal as part of the GOP’s outreach to Hispanics. Well, almost word-for-word:
Saturday was my birthday.
It was a cold and snowy day. When I looked outside at the thermometer, I saw that the temperature was the negative of my age.
“Fahrenheit or Celsius?” asked my wife.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said.
How old am I?