k o m p l e x i f y

Easter treats

Posted on 2012/04/08 by Travis

The Butterfly is absolutely terrified of rabbits. Well, not of rabbits per se, but rather of small furry quadrupeds in general. When see sees squirrels or rabbits in our back yard, she cowers behind the curtains in an effort to avoid their gaze, and demands that one of her parents remove them immediately. Or as she puts it, “Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!”

As a result, Easter is not popular with the Butterfly. When her big sister tried to get the Butterfly excited about it on Saturday night by noting that the Easter Bunny would be coming when they slept, the Butterfly quite literally ran screaming out of the room to her mother. When it was eventually time to go to sleep, the Butterfly demanded that I shut her door tight, to prevent the Easter Bunny from sneaking in.

In related news, perhaps watching Donnie Darko with her last week wasn’t the best of ideas.

It’s the morning Easter egg hunt, and the Butterfly found a golden egg. Unlike the other eggs, this one was heavy and clinked when it was shaken, so she immediately cracked it open to find it full of quarters.

“Awesome! I got money!,” she squealed, further adding: “And I didn’t even have to lose a tooth!”

Well, I suppose that’s better than “And I didn’t even have to sell a kidney!”

It seems like most Facebookers I know are trying to get struck by lightning today, since they keep posting things like “Happy Zombie Jesus Day!” for their status updates.

Knock if off people. Jesus is not a zombie.

He wants you to eat His flesh, not the other way around.

Apparently, somebody has thought through the previous statement a bit farther than I… or at least, thought about it whilst holding their D&D Monster Manual. In any event:

[via]

Posted in bugs, storytelling | Leave a comment

Quickies

Posted on 2012/04/05 by Travis

Scene: Office hours

Me: If I had a nickel for every time a student asked me if they could include an
“interpretive dance” component to their in-class mathematics presentation…

…I’d have three nickels.

…Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened more than once.

Scene: The family is watching the Disney Channel when a music video comes on.

The Ladybug: [ Singing along ] Be, be, be my B F F
‘Cuz I D K what’s comin’ next
I’ll be L M H O with the rest
So T T Y O X O X!

Me: I think it’s T T Y… L … X O X.

The Ladybug: I don’t think so.

Me: T T Y L is short for for Talk To You Later.

The Queen B: O M G! I can’t believe your father actually knew something like that.

Me: L O L. Now S T F U.

Scene: A Faculty Senate meeting, wherein the most recent draft of the university’s mission statement is revealed.

Bureaucrat: As for the school’s Strategic Priorities, we

Prepare a diverse student body for the 21st century,
Reinforce research enterprises to elevate quality of education,
Invest in human capital,
Dedicate ourselves to continuous improvement, and
Enhance external partnerships for critical resources.

Professor X: I see that we’ve chosen our priorities to spell out PRIDE.

Bureaucrat: Exactly! PRIDE is our underlying priority.

Professor X: Then may I draw your attention to the proposed Core Values a little further down the document?

Bureaucrat: Er… ah! “Respect, Integrity, Service, Knowledge.” Yes?

Professor X: Should I similarly deduce that RISK is our underlying value?

Bureaucrat: Oh… ah… hmmm…

Professor Y: I move that Professor X be awarded the WIN for today’s meeting.

Apparently making them non-mutant non-turtles wasn’t enough. The Michael Bay TMNT reboot is now just being called “Ninja Turtles,” which in addition to being a lie, now suggests they’re non-teenaged as well.

The only good news is that Bay himself is not directing the movie. Instead, it’s being farmed out to Jonathan Leibesman, who is best known for directing a movie about a homicidal Tooth Fairy that dislikes photons. (Seriously.) I consider this an improvement.

Nevertheless, I’m excited about the newly leaked plans for Michael Bay’s reboot of Superman, in which a mild mannered Kansas farm boy gets hit by a meteor from the exploding planet Krypton and emerges with super powers. Also, his parents Ma and Pa Kent are killed in the impact, but fortunately he gets foster parents Jor-el and Megan Fox from Krypton, who conveniently arrive to train him to fight Magneto and Skeletor. Also, Superman drives a Chevy. Also, eat shit, Michael Bay.

Posted in bugs, rant, school, storytelling | Leave a comment

Tuesday Whosday

Posted on 2012/03/27 by Travis

Series 5 ended with Amy getting married to Rory. Series 6 ended with the Doctor getting married to River. Presumably, Series 7 will conclude with the TARDIS tying the knot with Captain Jack’s Time Vortex Manipulator.

I just hope that, in each case, this was the wedding ring:

According to the ring’s designer, it’s a “Police Box ring with a tension set 1CT Princess Cut center stone. The three round stones is the Police Box sign, the two sets of four baguettes symbolize the windows, and a small princess cut below that to symbolize the instructions found on the front of the Police Box.”

It’s also completely nonexistent, a digital mock-up by Tumblr Pathetic Parapatetic.

All I’ve got to say is that if somebody were to make this thing, then I’d say “I do!”

…and then would have an awkward conversation with the Queen B afterwards.

Posted in tv | 1 Comment

Insult and injury

Posted on 2012/03/26 by Travis

Scene: Advanced Calculus II class. I am finishing the proof of the construction Hardy’s zig-zagging continuous everywhere, differentiable nowhere function:

$\displaystyle h(x) = \sum_{n=0}^\infty \frac{2}{\pi} \bigg( \frac{3}{4} \bigg)^n \bigg| \arcsin \bigg( \sin \bigg( \frac{4^n \pi}{2} x \bigg) \bigg) \bigg|$

Me: …and so we’ve shown $\displaystyle \lim_{m \to \infty} \bigg| \frac{h(x_m) - h(x_0)}{x_m - x_0} \bigg| = + \infty$ , which proves the function is not differentiable at $x_0$ .

Student A: Can you remind me why?

Me: Sure. Essentially, this argument shows that the difference quotient limit — the derivative — is blowing up at every point simultaneously.

Student B: Huh. You’re like the Michael Bay of calculus.

Me: Get the hell out of my classroom.

Posted in math humor, school | 4 Comments

Popped culture

Posted on 2012/03/23 by Travis

The Legend of Korra, the sequel to Avatar: The Last Airbender, is officially happening! It premiers at 11 AM EST on Nickelodeon on April 14. The last time I mentioned it I was a little wary of the “steampunk” angle, but nevertheless hoped it would blow me away.

Consider my mind blown:

That was the first official trailer. Here’s the second one:

In case you don’t appreciate how awesome this looks, just watch the subtle multi-layered 3D effect at the 0:53 mark above. This show is going to kick ass.

The best part is that the first episode is premiering tomorrow at the Korra Nation website. Guess I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Apparently Michael Bay is producing a live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I heard this on Conan the other night, and my immediate thoughts, given my less-than-stellar impression of his work so far, were

It’s going to suck.
The turtles will probably carry guns and bazookas instead of katanas and bo staffs, since the latter don’t explode.
The turtles will ally themselves with the US Army, who will take up most of the screen time and be lead by Casey Jones.
It’s really going to suck.

Apparently, though, I didn’t realize just how much it’s going to suck. At a recent Nickelodeon shindig, Bay announced

When we are done with this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles do exist, when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable.

Bay, listen up. If they’re aliens from another planet, then they are not, by definition, mutated turtles from this one. Once again: they’re not mutant turtles. That means that you’ve fucked up fully half of the defining attributes of principal characters, and you haven’t even started making this movie yet. What the hell is wrong with you, man?

My thoughts on this are best summed up in rage form: