This morning I checked out weather.com to get an idea of today’s temperature. This is what it told me:

Feels like... COLD.

It was followed by the statement that Friday is to be “bitterly cold,” a phrase for weather I had never heard of in all my years of living in California.

It turns out that by bitterly, they mean “really, horribly, monstrously, and agonizingly,” and by cold they mean “Holy crap! Did my boogers just freeze into a solid mass inside my own nose?”

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