The art of conversation

During a car ride home, as we pass a friend’s parents’ house:

Wife: Hey, it looks like K and S are at her parents’.   I wonder what they’re doing.

Me: Well, it  looks like what appears to be G loading what appears to be a big bag of  grass clippings into what appears to be a pickup truck.

W: That’s what it appears to be?

M: To me at least.   I can’t confirm that with 100% certainty, however.

W: [ Pause ]

M: I’m nothing if not precise.

W: You’re a dork.

Watching a movie on TV:

Wife: Did you just fart?

Me: Ummm… no?

W: I just I heard you fart.

M: That was the couch.   It’s  creaking.   It’s old.

W: We just bought that couch a year ago.

M: Yeah, but that’s like… 40 in couch years.

W: You’re a dork.

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