During a car ride home, as we pass a friend’s parents’ house:
Wife: Hey, it looks like K and S are at her parents’. I wonder what they’re doing.
Me: Well, it looks like what appears to be G loading what appears to be a big bag of grass clippings into what appears to be a pickup truck.
W: That’s what it appears to be?
M: To me at least. I can’t confirm that with 100% certainty, however.
W: [ Pause ]
M: I’m nothing if not precise.
W: You’re a dork.
Watching a movie on TV:
Wife: Did you just fart?
Me: Ummm… no?
W: I just I heard you fart.
M: That was the couch. It’s creaking. It’s old.
W: We just bought that couch a year ago.
M: Yeah, but that’s like… 40 in couch years.
W: You’re a dork.
