What's happening?

After the letdown that was Indian Jones and the Panultimate Reason Why George Lucas Should Never be Allowed on a Movie Set Again, the Queen B and I thought we’d give another movie a shot this summer, so we decided on seeing the new M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie, the creepy-looking The Happening.

Prologue

Given the outrageous cost of going to a movie anymore, I decided to stop by my campus first, since the Human Resources Department offers special (i.e. cheaper) movie tickets for faculty.

HR lady: Can I help you?

Me: Yeah.   I can I get two movie passes, please?

HR: Oo, are you going to see a movie?

Me: Yup… and they’re expensive anymore.

HR: I’ll say.   Are you sneaking in candy or sodas?

Me: Um, no…

HR: Ah.   Then let me start up the loan paperwork…

Oxymoron

I like M. Night Shyamalan movies for one main reason, viz. that he is, for all intents and purposes, the complete antithesis of Michael Bay.   Whereas Bay makes movies that are irritatingly loud, quick, senseless explosions of, well, explosions, Shyamalan’s movies are always slow-moving, quiet examinations of a single idea.   Hence, a movie called  “M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening” is almost certainly misnamed.

Epilogue

I totally recommend seeing The Happening.

It’s not an awesome movie by any means.

Even despite it’s much-hyped R rating, it’s not particularly scary (both Signs and even The Village delivered frights more consistently).   Instead, it’s rather more gory than it needs to be (arterial spurts from gunshot wounds, lions eating people, shotgun blasts to Disney Channel stars, and so forth), and in the end, it’s awfully more “save the earth” preachy than it needs to be too  (and I’m pretty liberal to begin with).   Nevertheless, it pretty consistently delivers tension and squeamish apprehension, and in the end, I suppose that’s the least you can ask for.

Still, the reason I recommend The Happening is simple: despite the fact that John Leguizamo is the third-billed actor in the movie, he slits his wrists with a windshield and dies in the first half hour.   I haven’t had such a feel-good movie experience since Steven Segal got ignominiously sucked out of an airplane in Executive Decision.

Ah, good times.

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