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I just got my new Tablet PC.

Well, a replacement for my old one, anyway.  Somehow I’ve become the guru of effective Tablet PC use in the classroom, a title of dubious distinction that seems to have been conferred upon me by the simple fact that I carry my Tablet PC with me everywhere on campus, and I only do that because, well, it’s where I keep my stuff.  Nevertheless, a perk of this conception is that I’m somehow at the top of the queue when faster, better versions of the Tablet PC become available, so I’ve swapped my old, clunky, chalk-dust covered computer for one that’s supposed to be sleeker, faster, and better.

It’s certainly slicker that my old one.  It’s jet black with silver trim, and it has a fingerprint security lock, which allows you to bypass typing in usernames and passwords by instead swiping your index finger over a little scanner.  The process by which it works is rather interesting: you place your index finger over this little red sensor and swipe it done, after which a small window pops up saying:

You then repeat this maneuver anywhere from eighteen to forty-seven times, after which you give up and simply type in your username and password.  I live in fear of the time they decide to replace the fingerprint sensor with either a retinal scanner or a rectal probe.  For all intents and purposes, they could replace all these high-tech features with the following extra key on the keyboard without sacrificing any of the functionality:

As with any upgrade, it takes a while to get everything set (or rather, reset) just as you like it. I’ve been mucking around the Control Panel, fiddling with security and power saving options, without much success.  If only I could find this menu and disable it:

An added bonus is that this new computer comes equipped with Office 2007.  Now, I hated Office 2003 for a large number of reasons, including (but not limited to)

• that wretched paper clip.
• the fact that Word would ceaselessly interrupt my work with “helpful” suggestions for formatting, grammar, indenting, font choice, stationary color, staple orientation, typing technique, prime time television viewing, choice of condiments, whatever.  It’s like the literary equivalent of a back seat driver.
• the fact that Excel works under its own alien form of arithmetic.  Really!  It treats -2²+1 and 1-2² as completely different entities — the first it computes as 5, the second as -3.  I’m not going to trust a spreadsheet program that can’t even perform grade school arithemetic.
• the fact that OneNote actually rearranges my handwritten notes when I’m not looking, separating everything it thinks is a letter to one side of the page and everything else to, apparently, Abu Dhabi.
• the fact that FrontPage can convert an html file consisting of “Hello World!” and convert it into a 750 megabyte file with sixteen auxillary subfolders.

Indeed, the only thing Office 2003 had going for it was its ubiquity: it was everydamnwhere, so that even if you didn’t like it me (Hi!  Nice to meet you!) you were force at least to be somewhat familiar with its operations. 

If you haven’t seen it, the 2007 version preserves all of the worst features of the previous Office suite while simultaneously eradicating the familiar interface, making it damn near impossible to use.  I would be most obliged if someone would take Bill Gates out and shoot him.  Twice, preferably.

However, in its favor, the new Tablet has a much improved pen-to-screen interface, which means I can play Line Rider with great fluidity, ease, and artistic expression, and really, isn’t that the only thing that matters.