Anyone who frequents this site and the related kompex plane knows that I attempt, when possible, to correctly attribute authors of poems and anecdotes when I find them. In continuing with that tradition, reader Rani pointed out that the Owed Two a Spelling Chequer poem I included yesterday (which I hastily copied off of a professor’s door) is not an anonymous bit of email fodder.
It is, in fact, a bastardized version of a far better poem by retired ecology and evolution professor Dr. Jerrold H. Zar in 1992. It was published (and, I believe, correctly attributed) in the Journal of Irrepreducible Results in both the 1994 January/February (page 16) and 2000 Vol. 45 No. 5/6 editions.
In any event, since it’s a clever poem, let me at least get it right. (Plus, the correct version has a far better title.) Without further ado, I present Dr. Zar’s mag numb oh puss. (And thank you, Rani, for letting me know!)
Candidate for a pullet surprise
— Jerrold H. Zar
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished inn it’s weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we’re lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
