I Am Legend
From a plague, the one immune guy
Holes himself up in abandoned N.Y.
He mixes up cures
As he nightly endures
Attacks from hostile C.G.I.
I like its apocalyptic look ‘n’ feel
And Will Smith does each scene steal,
But man was I pissed
When Hollywood missed
The point of the title in the last reel.
A girl in a dress colored red
Is found abandoned, drowned, and dead.
When a cop tries to find
The cruel mastermind
He starts to go sick in the head.
A mad scientist tries to expunge
A ghost boy’s power to haunt and lunge
In the cavity
Of an anti-gravity-
Inducing Menger sponge.
If you think that sounds kinda dumb
Just wait till ghost’s mean old mum
Kills the doc and his ilk
With ectoplasmic silk
I assume she spins from her bum.
Two magicians a ruthless war wage
To be magic’s one king of the stage.
But when one takes the life
Of the other’s young wife
Their rivalry turns into rage.
The movie’s a visual feast
Brooding and clever, to say the least.
But blink and you’ll miss
Its last sci-fi twist
Where Hugh Jackson becomes the flick’s beast.
If I haven’t sold you on that stuff,
How ’bout Scarlett J. in the buff?
(Well, she’s never quite nude,
Rather barely just glued
In a corset, but that’s good enough!)