Drink Pepsi. Get stuffed.

The gas station down the street from my office recently underwent a facelift, and as a consequence replaced their old Coca-Cola fountain drink machine with a new-fangled Pepsi one.   As a result, I now come face to face with the (relatively) new Pepsi logo on a day-to-day basis:

I find this new design ugly and unappealing, partly because it sacrifices the pleasing symmetries the previous logo exhibited, but mostly because it looks like a really fat guy, and honestly, this is the last thing I want to mentally picture before having a sip of my soda:

And it’s not just me!   A quick Google search for “New Pepsi Logo”   will find at least two different similar takes on this theme.   Did Pepsi really intend to embed a hideously corpulent figure into their design logo?   Is Pepsi trying to say something about it’s clientele?

Now, lest you dismiss this is an extraordinarily stupid conspiracy theory, consider this.   The logo for Diet Pepsi is different than the logo for ordinary Pepsi.   Check it out, and note the difference:

Did you notice that our boy’s trimmed down some since he started drinking Diet Pepsi?

On the other hand, Pepsi also makes some kind of thing called Pepsi Max, which is apparently loaded with twice the caffeine, ginseng, and lighter fluid.   Check out its logo:

I’m not sure what drinking Pepsi Max is supposed to do for you, but based on what it did to our guy here, I’d suggest staying the hell away from it.   (Seriously, what happened to his pants?)

So, to summarize the things we can learn from Pepsi’s new logos:

  • Pepsi thinks you’re fat, and Pepsi Max will probably kill you.
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