Movie review: Next

The movie Next has been on TV a lot lately.   To say it’s a bit repetitive might be an understatement.   Here’s the movie summarized in pseudo-code.

movie NEXT ()
{
  set audience-satisfaction = 0;
  set plot-points-resolved = 0;
  set creepy_factor = 0;

  do while (creepy_factor < 2) {
    for (i = 1 to 100) {
       show << the mall-escape sequence from
               the movie "Minority Report";
    }
    audience_satisfaction ++;
    plot_points_resolved ++;
    show << creepy scene with 40-something Nic Cage in bed
            with 20-something Jessica Biehl;
    creepy_factor ++;
  }

  show << previous movie events invalidated
          as an extended dream sequence;
  plot_points_resolved --;
  audience_satisfaction = 0;
  return 0;
}