The Ladybug and I are leaving for school in the morning…
Me: Get in the car, kiddo, or I’m leaving you behind.
She: Why would you do that, ass turd?
Me:… what?
She: Why would you do that, ass turd?
Me: What!?
She: What? I’m just saying what Hiccup said in How to Train Your Dragon.
Me: Then why are you calling me an ass turd?
She: Because that’s who Hiccup is talking to.
[ pause ]
Me: Her name is Astrid, kid.
