Proper Michael: …why didn’t you just call him?
Tr*st*n: Because my new smartphone was on the fritz. I couldn’t get it to call out.
Proper Michael: What did you do?
Tr*st*n: Fortunately, my old dumbphone was working, so I used that.
Me: Your dumbphone?
Tr*st*n: You know the kind… it doesn’t take pictures or play music or download games. It just calls people.
Me: Ah. I’m pretty sure such devices are, in fact, called “phones.”