Today the Ladybug turns six whopping years old! I figured I share some stories about her to celebrate the awesome little lady she’s growing up to be.
The Ladybug and I are eating lunch at a Tex-Mex grill when the phone of the dude sitting behind us goes off: “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”
The Ladybug turns around and says “You have a Dalek ringtone? That’s pretty cool.”
The dude looks at the little girl and says: “You know what a Dalek is? That’s even cooler.”
Our family is rather addicted to Face Off, the ScyFy reality show that pits up-and-coming special-effects make-up artists against each other to win cash and a car. Shortly before the season finale, the Ladybug pulled me aside.
“Dad,” she said, “You know how on Face Off the people put all that make-up and masks and things on the models?”
“Yes,” I said.
“So they add all this stuff to them to give them a different looking face, right?”
“Yes,” I repeated.
“Then I think a better name for the show would be Face On.”
Ladybug: Dad, who were the very first people?
Me: No one really knows, because they lived a long time ago. There are lots of different stories about who the first people were… there’s the Chinese story, and the Bible story, and the science story…
LB: What’s the science story?
Me: In the science story, any two people on the Earth are related: if we follow their families far enough back, have a great-great-great-great-grandpa and a great-great-great-great-grandma in common. For example, if we took you and we took Madison, and we wrote down all of your grandparents and great-grandparents and great-great-great-grandparents… and we did the same for Madison… then sooner or later we’d find the same grandpa and grandma in both of your family trees.
Me: But even more, any two animals on the Earth are also related! If we took your pet fish and your pet frog, and we did they same thing to them, we’d find they both have some great-grandparents in common… except that that grandparent wouldn’t probably be a fish or a frog, but a different animal that looks a little like both of them.
LB: Weird, but cool.
Me: Well, in the science story, the same is true of humans and animals: everybody is related. If we look at humans, and we look at chimpanzees, for example, and we go back in our family trees long enough, we’d find we share some great-grandparents. But those great-grandparents would probably not be human beings or chimpanzees, but a different animal that looks a little like both. So in the science story, there’s a long, long, long family tree of grandparents, starting from you and me that look less and less like humans the farther back we go. There isn’t a “first” human being in that family tree, just like there isn’t a last number… you can also go a little bit farther back.
LB: Huh. That’s lame.
Me: Well, that’s the science story.
LB: What about the Bible story?
Me: Well, there’s really two different stories in the Bible, but they kinda go like this. A long, long time ago, there was nothing in the universe except God. He spoke, and he created the heaven and the earth, light and dark, and the land and the sea.
LB: How about the planets? Even Jupiter and Saturn?
Me: Yep, all the planets and all the stars in the Milky Way.
LB: Wow. That must have taken a long time.
Me: Well, actually it took less than a week… about six days. And after he made all these things, the universe was still kind of empty, so he made a man out of earth, kind of like a statue, and breathed life into him, and that became the first man, called Adam. But Adam was still all alone, so God decided to make him a helper. He made all the all the animals — dogs and cats and birds and fish — but none of them was just the right helper for Adam. So God made Adam fall asleep, and when he was sleeping, God took out one of Adam’s ribs…
LB: Ouch! Didn’t that hurt Adam?
Me: No, because Adam was sleeping. It was like when you got your silver teeth put in… the doctors made you fall asleep first, and you didn’t feel a thing. Anyways, God took out one of Adam’s ribs, and he made it into the first woman, called Eve. And Adam and Eve became the first people, and everyone today is part of their family. That’s the Bible story.
LB: Wait, God made all the planets and stars and stuff by himself? In a week? And he made a girl from skeleton bone?
Me: Well… kinda. That’s how the Bible story goes.
LB: Hmmm. I still think the science story is lame, but at least it makes sense.
I’m reading through the Ladybug’s birthday wishlist, which she has helpfully provided for me: “Let’s see…
- Dolphin Tale movie
- The real Alice in Wonderland movie
- Barbie and Ken clothes
- A rock tumbler
- Priddy… oh… pretty shoes
- The Dot book
- The Lorax book
- A pucccc… pucucc… puccuccussuss…
Hey kid, what’s number 8?”
“Huh. You’re in for a whole of disappointment, kid.”
Here’s the best I could do… Happy birthday, Ladybug!