Disneyronomy

1. And it came to pass that I sat with my two daughters, the Butterfly and the Ladybug, to watch The Princess and the Frog.

2. Lo, when the film had completed, the Butterfly pondered: “Why didn’t Tiana’s friend be a  frog after she kissed the frog prince?”

3. And the Ladybug answered thus: “For she was a princess: the princess of Mardi Gras.”

4. But I, being confused, asked her: “But if she be a princess, then should not her kiss have transformed him back into a prince?”

5. And the Ladybug, being wise, answered thus: “For the hour of midnight had passed, and she was no longer a princess.”

6. But the Butterfly asked: “But if she was not a princess and only a girl, then shouldn’t she turn into a frog like Tiana did?”

7. And the Ladybug, being clever, answered thus: “For the magic of the curse had passed at midnight as well.”

8. But I, being confused again, asked her: “But then why did Tiana turn back into a human when she kissed the frog prince?”

9. And the Ladybug answered: “For she was a true princess, since she was now married the prince.”

10. But Butterfly objected, saying: “I thought you said the magic was used up.”

11. And the Ladybug countered: “No, only the magic to transform a non-princess human into a frog had expired.  The magic of a princess to transform a frog to a human still remained.”

12. And I countered thus: “They never say anything like that in the movie.”

13. And the Ladybug, being of the pure faith, said: “Because Disney is good,” and would speak no more upon it.

14. And lo, I understood how religion (or, at the very least, apologetics) began.

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