About

Definition

complexify, verb.

1. To make unnecessarily complex; to de-simplify a problem.
2. To extend the definition of a function from the real line to the complex plane; frequently to simplify a problem.
3. To have or develop unexpected or unforeseen consequences.

komplexify, verb.

1. To take an interest in the fact that the previous definition — just like life itself — is simultaneously self-contradictory and self-referential.

Various items of limited interest

1. I’m Travis, and I know how to komplexify.
2. I was born, raised, and lived in southern California for 27 years.
3. However, 6 of those years were spent just in traffic, so I left.
4. I’m am a professional mathematician with an interest in the liberal arts.
5. Yes, there is such a thing.
6. No, it’s not contagious.
7. I’m married to the Queen B. She also teaches math.
8. Apparently, Item 6 is false after all.
9. In fact, some of the Items in this list are also false.
10. I know the definition of “dooced.”
11. Items 9 and 10 are not unrelated.
12. Nevertheless, most of the Items have a glimmer of truth in them.
13. Item 14 is completely true.
14. Item 13 is completely false.
15. Epimenides knew how to komplexify, too.
16. I now live in South Dakota.
17. You have no idea where that is, do you?
18. No, Fargo is in North Dakota. Apples and oranges.
19. The city I live in now has a population of 60,000.
20. The city I lived in prior to this had a population of 600,000.
21. And the city I lived in prior to that had a population of 6,000,000.
22. Apparently, if I move four more times, I will a city unto my self.
23. I teach at a science and engineering university called Komplexify U.
24. I’m neither a scientist nor an engineer; see Item 4.
25. I live in perpetual fear that the administrators of Komplexify U will discover the discrepancy between Items 4 and 23, and 24, and fire my ass.
26. Also, it’s not really called Komplexify U.
27. I don’t yet have tenure. Actually, I am now tenured, but my bosses have noted that this simply means it takes two years to fire me rather than just one.
28. Items 26 and 27 are not unrelated. See Item 10.
29. I have a ridiculously large wardrobe of aloha shirts.
30. Folks have enrolled in my class just to see my collection of aloha shirts.
31. I kid you not.
32. I get grief when I don’t wear aloha shirts.
33. Even if its below freezing and snowing.
34. I like gothik-industrial-elektro musik.
35. Items 29 and 34 are frequently incompatable.
36. I told you I know how to komplexify.
37. There is no Item 37.
38. Monty Python knew how to komplexify, too.
39. I used to be a pretty decent artist, but I’m out of practice.
40. I still enjoy cartooning and designing ambigrams.
41. I was originally an art major, because I thought art was beautiful and nourished the soul, whereas mathematics and science were purely utilitarian ventures, and therefore soulless.
42. I was wrong about the latter part.
43. I do mathematics because I find it beautiful and nourishes the soul.
44. Reality TV hurts my soul.
45. Actually, most TV programming hurts my soul.
46. I really only like cartoons, Mythbusters, and Doctor Who.
47. I’m addicted to Avatar: the Last Airbender.
48. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the best movie ever.
49. Asian horror movies scare the bejeezus me.
50. Item 49 notwithstanding, I don’t believe in bejeezus.
51. Actually, I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in your god either.  No offense.
52. If you’re a pastarfarian, scratch Item 51.   R’Amen, brother.
53. Item 24 notwithstanding, I’m a big fan of science and technology.
54. Items 51 and 53 are not unrelated.
55. Yellow fizzy beer is for wussies.