Scene: A family outing for breakfast. The Butterfly is playing with the kid’s menu/activity page.

Butterfly: Wanna play Mad-Libs?

Me: Sure.

BF: Adjective?

Me: “Rotund.”

BF: What?

Me: It means fat.

BF: Oh. Animal?

Me: “Echidna.”

BF: What?

Me: It’s a spiny ant-eater.

BF: Oh. Heavy object?

Me: “The Colossus of Rhodes.”

BF: What?

Me: It’s a big statue.

Mom [growing annoyed]: Why not “Thor’s Hammer”? That’s heavy.

BF: Dad said his first. Past-tense verb?

Me: “Hammered.”

Mom [sarcastically]: Ha… ha.

Me: Thor loser.

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Ah, spring

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Still sharp

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Code Red

DeangelosMomsShame := 0;
EverybodyElsesPatience := 100;
while( DeangelosMomsShame < 1 ) do
Deangelo( DoBadThingNumber( RandInt(1..10) ) );
DeangelosMom( Say( "Stop that, Deangelo" ) );
Deangelo( Ignore( All ) );
DeangelosMomsShame := DeangelosMomsShame;
EverybodyElsesPatience := EverybodyElsesPatience - 10;
DeangelosMom( Parents( Deangelo) );
Deangelo( KnocksItTheEffOff );
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No studs, either

A late night conversation in the car.

BUTTERFLY: I can’t wait until I’m ten!

ME: Why?

BF: Because then I can get my piercings!

ME: Yep.

BF: I just have to decide where to get them.

ME: In your ears, of course. I’m not paying for nipple rings.

BF: No! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! No!

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