Scene: A family outing for breakfast. The Butterfly is playing with the kid’s menu/activity page.
Butterfly: Wanna play Mad-Libs?
Me: It means fat.
BF: Oh. Animal?
Me: It’s a spiny ant-eater.
BF: Oh. Heavy object?
Me: “The Colossus of Rhodes.”
Me: It’s a big statue.
Mom [growing annoyed]: Why not “Thor’s Hammer”? That’s heavy.
BF: Dad said his first. Past-tense verb?
Mom [sarcastically]: Ha… ha.
Me: Thor loser.
DeangelosMomsShame := 0;
EverybodyElsesPatience := 100;
while( DeangelosMomsShame < 1 ) do
Deangelo( DoBadThingNumber( RandInt(1..10) ) );
DeangelosMom( Say( "Stop that, Deangelo" ) );
Deangelo( Ignore( All ) );
DeangelosMomsShame := DeangelosMomsShame;
EverybodyElsesPatience := EverybodyElsesPatience - 10;
DeangelosMom( Parents( Deangelo) );
Deangelo( KnocksItTheEffOff );
A late night conversation in the car.
BUTTERFLY: I can’t wait until I’m ten!
BF: Because then I can get my piercings!
BF: I just have to decide where to get them.
ME: In your ears, of course. I’m not paying for nipple rings.
BF: No! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! No!