Give until it hurts

Queen B: Alright girls.  Sort your clothes into piles by color so that we can wash them.  Ladybug, any clothes you have that are too small for you, you give to the Butterfly.

Ladybug: Okay.

Queen B: Butterfly, any clothes you have that are too small for you, we give to charity.

Butterfly: Wait.  Didn’t we already give my baby clothes and toys to Charity already?

Queen B: Yes.  And now we’re going to give these clothes as well.

Butterfly: Man, this Charity kid is lucky.  She gets all my stuff.

Posted in bugify | 1 Comment

Snow daze

Posted in komplexify | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about my two daughters, expressed in a single night

My children are very, very different.


“It’s time for bed,” I say to the 5-year-old Butterfly.

“I’m not tired,” she says.

“But you will be in the morning when you need to get up,” I reply, “so now it’s time for bed.”

“Okay, Daddy,” she says.

She hops into bed, kisses me goodnight, pulls the covers over her head, and closes her eyes.  I turn off her light and shut her door.

About an hour later, I hear noises coming from her room.  I open the door just in time to spy the Butterfly hurriedly cram some chocolate (which she had been hiding in various nooks in her room) before jumping back into bed, trying (woefully unsuccessfully) to pretend to have been sleeping the whole time.


“It’s time for bed,” I say to the 9-year-old Ladybug.

“Oh no!” she cries.  “I finished my reading homework, but I forgot to do the character map for it!”

“You can finish it up tomorrow morning,” I offer, “but now it’s time for bed.”

“Okay, Daddy,”

She hops into bed, kisses me goodnight, pulls the covers over her head, and closes her eyes.  I turn off her light and shut her door.

About an hour later, I hear noises coming from her room.  I open the door to find the Ladybug at her desk busily writing a note, a completed character map next to her.  “I was going to slide this under you door,” she says glumly as she hands me the note, before crawling back into bed.

It reads:

Daddy,

I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so worried about not getting done with the character map, so I got up and finished it and went back to bed.

Then I couldn’t fall asleep because I thought that you would be disappointed if you found out that I got up after bedtime, so I am writing this apology note.

I’m sorry I got out of bed to do homework after bedtime.

Love, Ladybug


So there you have it.  Both of my daughters break the rules about bedtime, one of them to sneak candy and the other to do homework.

Posted in bugify | 1 Comment

Say my name

I was going through some student records to track “longitudinal progress” across the calculus sequence at Komplexify U when I cam across the following entry in an industrial engineering (the branch of engineering concerned with optimizing complex processes) student’s record:

Wait… what are you guys trying to optimize?

Posted in academify | Leave a comment

On what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my monstrosity been unleashed?

I just found out that actress Daveigh Chase stars as both the Hawaiian troublemaker Lilo in Lilo and Stitch and the haunted TV terror Samara in The Ring.  All I know now is that the latter makes watching the former a lot creepier.

Posted in flixify | Leave a comment