Let ε < 0.

02.10.09

Mathematics instructor evaluation form

Filed under: Academic humor — Travis @

In accordance with the new emphasis on accountability and the Standards of Learning (S.O.L.s), the following rating scale for Mathematics Professors at the University has been devised.

Rating Scale Far Exceeds Job Requirements Exceeds Job Requirements Meets Job Requirements Needs Some Improvement Does Not Meet Minimum Requirements
QUALITY Leaps tall buildings with a single bound Must take running start to leap over tall buildings Can leap over short buildings only Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them Cannot recognize buildings at all
TIMELINESS Is faster than a speeding bullet Is as fast as a speeding bullet Not quite as fast as a speeding bullet Would you believe a slow bullet? Wounds self with bullet when attempting to shoot
INITIATIVE Is stronger than a locomotive Is stronger than a bull elephant Is stronger than a bull Shoots the bull Is full of bull
ADAPTABILITY Walks on water Treads water Washes with water Drinks water Passes water in emergencies
COMMUNICATION Talks with God Talks with the angels Talks to himself Argues with himself Loses arguments with himself
LOGIC Understands Godel Has read Godel Can pronounce Godel Wears a girdle Can’t recognize a girdle
ALGEBRA Can prove Fermat’s Last Theorem Can develop the Quadratic Formula Can use the Quadratic formula Can spell the word Quadratic Advocates being a radical
GEOMETRY Creates consistent sets of axioms Proves original theorems Accepts axioms Proves axioms Disproves axioms
CALCULUS Does elliptical integrals by inspection Can prove the Fundamental Theorem Has heard of the Fundamental Theorem Advocates table of integration Advocates busing for integration

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