Let ε < 0.

02.21.09

Remarks you are not likely to find in a journal

Filed under: Academic humor — Travis @

“Throughout this paper, for simplicity, we adopt the convention that all symbols are considered to have the same meaning. The precise nature of that meaning is left as an exercise to the reader.”

“This paper is dedicated to my graduate students, without whom it would have taken much less time to write.”

“If the preceding argument is unclear, simply replace all variables with the Middle High German for flamingo and proceed as in Lemma 6.”

“Before giving the proof of Theorem 4, it is necessary to make a few preliminary remarks. Hi Mom!”

“Let k(T) denote the space of formal linear combinations of Tunisian government officials, with coefficients in an arbitrary field k.”

“Proof: God (personal communication).”

“Proof: Duh.”

“We study herein the irreducible holomorphic representations of a compact connected simply connected reductive classical linear algebraic group over a complete algebraically closed field of prime characteristic, to which we will refer as thingamabobs.”

“Supported in part by Betty Ford Foundation grant no. M165-4807.”

“Thanks are due to the second author’s imaginary friend for helpful conversations.”

“For further discussion see M. Sendak, Where The Wild Things Are, pp. 8-10, illustrations.”

“The following proof is easiest to understand if chanted in Swahili.”

“We adopt the notational convention that all statements in 12-point type are categorically false.”

“If the preceding proof seems unclear, try it your own damn self.”

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