Let ε < 0.

02.26.09

Tom Swifties

Filed under: Puns — Travis @

“6 is a special number,” Tom said perfectly.

“Remove the braces,” remarked Tom parenthetically.

“If p, then q,” implied Tom.

“The concavity changes here,” said Tom with inflection.

“It is three meters long,” ruled Tom.

“Square root of 2 is not equal to a fraction!” Tom yelled irrationally.

“They are mirror images,” reflected Tom.

“Repeating decimals do not end,” remarked Tom in his infinite wisdom.

“This is a function,” related Tom.

“1/2 is a fraction,” said Tom properly.

“It is a vector,” directed Tom.

“3 = 11 in mod 2,” noted Tom basely.

“It touches the circle just once,” noted Tom tangentially.

b2 – 4ac = 0,” discriminated Tom.

“I don’t know what (b2 – 4ac) equals and I don’t care!” said Tom indiscriminately.

“Space is an infinite set of points,” Tom said distantly.

“1… 3… 5… 7…” Tom said oddly.

“It must be a convex quadrilateral,” figured Tom.

“1 = 1,” Tom stated absolutely.

“99 is almost 100,” said Tom roughly.

“The function ez is holomorphic,” Tom analyzed.

“It’s a plane figure,” Tom said flatly.

“Proofs are necessary,” reasoned Tom.

“I hate quizzes,” Tom stated testily.

“It’s not the y-axis, it’s not the y-axis, it’s not the y-axis,” Tom said inordinately.

“The decimal expansion of 1/3 is .3333333….,” repeated Tom.

“ex may be written as 1 + x/1! + x2/2! + x3/3! + …,” expanded Tom.

These are all by Arthur Coxley and his students, except the last three, which are mine.

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