Let ε < 0.

03.24.09

Department grading schemes

Filed under: Academic humor — Travis @

Department Of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

Department Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Department Of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.

Department Of Religion:
Grade is determined by God.

Department Of Philosophy:
What is a grade?

English Department:
Your final exam will be scored by totaling the weight of all the books you read this semester:

  • 40+ pounds – A
  • 30 pounds – B
  • 20 pounds – C
  • 10 pounds – D
  • under 10 pounds – F

Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.

Department Of Mathematics:
Grades are variable.

Department Of Physics:
Grades are relative. but…
All theoretical physics is really mathematics. See Above.

Department Of Chemistry:
All theoretical chemistry is really physics. See Above.

Department Of Biology:
All theoretical biology is really chemistry. See Above.

Department Of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

Department Of Marxist Studies:
The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Therefore, everyone will now get the same grade!

Department Of Economics:
All of your grades, as a collection, will reach the level where your marginal product (MP) of labor for each individual grade is equal.

Department Of Operations & Logistics Management:
Grades will be posted at 12:00 Noon.
NOT 11:59. NOT 12:01. 12:00 NOON.

Department Of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade, but… YOUR grade is an object in a class of its own.

Department of Music:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).

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