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03.27.09

Genesis by Microsoft

Filed under: CS silliness — Travis @

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said:

C:\>Let there be light
Enter user id.
C:\>God
Enter password.
C:\>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:\>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:\>Technocrat

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

C:\>Let there be light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\>Create light
Done
C:\>Run heaven and earth

And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

C:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\>Create firmament
Done.
C:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

C:\>Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one
    place and let the dry land appear
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\>Create dry_land
Done.
C:\>Run dry_land

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

C:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day
    from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\>Run sun_moon_stars

And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

C:\>Create great creatures of the sea and every living and
    moving thing with which the water teems, according to
    their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create fish
Done
C:\>Create fowl
Done
C:\>Run fish, fowl

And so God created the fish and the fowl. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

C:\>Create wild animals according to their kinds, the
    livestock according to their kinds, and all the
    creatures that move along the ground according to
    their kinds
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create cattle
Done
C:\>Create creepy_things
Done
C:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create man
Done
C:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and
    subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea
    and over the fowl of the air and over every
    living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
>C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
C:\>Insert breath
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
C:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\>Copy woman from man
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\>Create desire
Done
C:\>Run multiplication

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create freewill
Done
C:\>Run freewill

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create good, evil
Done
C:\>Activate evil

And God saw he had created shame.

Warning system error in sector E95.
Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
C:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\>Break
C:\>Break
C:\>Break
C:\>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space.
You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
C:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\>Destroy earth confirmed

And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
And at 12:00:01 AM, Sunday, March 8, God created Macintosh.

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