Let ε < 0.

05.8.09

Nonstandard measurements

Filed under: Puns, Science humor — Travis @

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1 unit of suspense in an Agatha Christie novel: 1 whod unit

2 monograms: 1 diagram

2 wharves: 1 paradox

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

52 cards: 1 decacards

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

100 Senators: Not 1 decision

Most of these were sent to me by David Glickenstein.

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