The four branches of arithmetic — ambition, distraction, uglification and derision. (Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland)

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. (Albert Einstein)

If you can’t explain what you are doing to a nine-year-old, then either you still don’t understand it very well, or it’s not all that worthwile in the first place. (Albert Einstein)

Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. (Albert Einstein)

The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidty. (Harlan Ellison)

I’ve heard that the government wants to put a tax on the mathematically ignorant. Funny, I thought that’s what the lottery was! (Gallagher)

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions. (John C. George)

I turn away with fear and horror from this lamentable plague of functions which do not have derivatives. (Hermite, in a letter to Stieltjes)

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. (David Hilbert)

Physics is much too hard for physicists. (David Hilbert)

A Ph.D. dissertation is a paper of the professor written under aggravating circumstances. (Adolf Hurwitz)

Nature laughs at the difficulties of integration. (Pierre-Simon de Laplace)

Everything good is either illegal, immoral, or equivalent to the Axiom of Choice. (Josh Laison)

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants. (Isaac Newton)

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. (Hal Abelson)

Mathematicians stand on each other’s shoulders. (Gauss)

Computer scientists stand on each other’s feet. (Richard Hamming)

Software engineers dig each other’s graves. (unknown)

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. (George Polya)

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school. (Cokie Roberts)

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. (Philippe Shnoebelen)

Basic research is what I am doing when I don’t known what I am doing. (Werner von Braun)

In mathematics you don’t understand things. You just get used to them. (Johann von Neumann)

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. (Steven Wright)