Code Red

Posted on March 7, 2019 by Travis 
WaitingRoom
{
DeangelosMomsShame := 0;
EverybodyElsesPatience := 100;
while( DeangelosMomsShame < 1 ) do
{
Deangelo( DoBadThingNumber( RandInt(1..10) ) );
DeangelosMom( Say( "Stop that, Deangelo" ) );
Deangelo( Ignore( All ) );
DeangelosMomsShame := DeangelosMomsShame;
EverybodyElsesPatience := EverybodyElsesPatience - 10;
};
DeangelosMom( Parents( Deangelo) );
Deangelo( KnocksItTheEffOff );
TickerTapeParade();
}
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No studs, either

Posted on February 21, 2019 by Travis

A late night conversation in the car.

BUTTERFLY: I can’t wait until I’m ten!

ME: Why?

BF: Because then I can get my piercings!

ME: Yep.

BF: I just have to decide where to get them.

ME: In your ears, of course. I’m not paying for nipple rings.

BF: No! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! No!

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Everything old is new again

Posted on February 16, 2019 by Travis

It’s a new morning in America.

One in which we now have to specify which Aurora mass-shooting we’re taking about.

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Happy Vulcantine’s Day

Posted on February 14, 2019 by Travis

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Parenting

Posted on February 13, 2019 by Travis

Forty-Five is on TV, expressing (in his distinctively third-grade reading-level way) his displeasure over Congress’ lack of funds for his border wall.

The Butterfly walks in, stares for a moment, and says “Is that Kellyanne Con-Artist on Trump’s left?”

Though secretly amused by her wordplay, I feel it is my parental duty to correct her.

“No sweetie. Kellyanne is on Trump’s right. She’s on your left.”

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